Appalled neighbours and delighted cats: testing a forest of artificial Christmas trees ... in October

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In the world according to TikTok, the true meaning of Christmas is cats hurling themselves at 8ft trees to a Mariah Carey soundtrack. This particular trend always made me wonder what I’d been doing wrong. Every cat I’d ever lived with, notably my dear departed Iggy, was indifferent to my Christmas tree.

Maybe Iggy just wasn’t a tree kind of guy, despite (or perhaps because of) his face being all over my tree decorations. Or maybe I just needed to up my tree game. After testing the best artificial Christmas trees against all manner of metrics, including feline appeal, I’ve concluded it’s probably the latter.

It’s time I introduced Lumen. No one can take Iggy’s place, but Lumen, a tiny semi-feral rescue cat, has helped fill the void left by his loss. She’s lived much of her two years outdoors, not by choice, and by turning our living room into a forest of fake fir, pretend pine and simulated spruce, we seem to have helped her feel right at home.

Lumen’s involvement in this test proved genuinely insightful. She helped demonstrate each tree’s ability to withstand balance challenges, such as a delighted cat hanging off its lower branches. She taste-tested their greenery until I gently asked her not to (she liked the chewy Habitat mixed tip and the bristly Christmas Tree World pine). Her presence made me more sensitive than I might’ve been to the fake snow, plastic needles and other potentially hazardous dreck that dropped off the less durable trees. She loved the boxes.

Bemused neighbours and spreading joy

A white cat sniffs the branches of a Christmas tree

I wonder what the neighbours made of it all. They’re so used to seeing mattresses, heated airers and other giant review samples being ferried to and from my front door that I could probably sneak a body bag past them without turning a hair. But Christmas trees up and lit in October? Beyond the pale.

It’s OK, everyone, they’ve gone now. The trees were down before Strictly even reached its Halloween special, and our efforts to get them back in their boxes were another handy test. January is grim enough without the hassle of squeezing 10kg of pointy PVC into a box it no longer fits. The Habitat won again on this score; alas, the snowy Dunelm seemed to have grown to Stay Puft Marshmallow Man dimensions by the time we tried to get it back in its box, while Christmas Tree World’s boxed pine was so big and heavy it needed two men to carry it out to the charity lorry. Good luck getting it up your loft ladder.

My trees went to Southampton hardship charity Scratch, one of many organisations crying out for donations at this time of year. Look out for Christmas gift appeals, too: my recent test of weighted blankets yielded a cosy, if heavy, haul for the Southampton Hospitals Charity. If you decide to buy a new tree after reading our roundup and aren’t sure what to do with the old one, donating it to charity is a sustainable option that could genuinely bring sparkle to someone’s Christmas.

This week’s picks

Editor’s pick

Have you started your Christmas shopping? Well, stop – and read our big Filter gift guide before you get going. We’ve gone above and beyond to help you find the perfect gifts: we’ve tested the latest and most-hyped products; we’ve trawled shops in person; we’ve felt fabrics; we’ve enlisted kids to give us their must-haves; we’ve tasted the good, the bad and the awful; and we’ve rounded up some of the products that were tried and tested by us this year.

So, from a stocking-filler negroni and a toy that actually encourages your child to tidy up to the perfect picky-bits side plates, here are the most covetable, joyful, quirky, fun and genuinely useful presents around. Happy shopping!

Hannah Booth
Editor, the Filter

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Get involved

How do you avoid overspending at Christmas? Do you set a present-buying budget? Does your family do a secret Santa, rather than buy for everyone? Do you forage for foliage rather than buy expensive decorations? Let us know by replying to this newsletter, or emailing us at [email protected].

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