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‘There isn’t a single consent conversation’
Dr Lori Beth Bisbey, 62, Edinburgh
Pillion feels very true to its roots as a movie about leather. As a leatherwoman, I thought it was absolutely brilliant. I loved the tension, and it’s funny as hell. It’s also incredibly hot.
There isn’t a single consent conversation in the film, perhaps because that could be boring. I think it’s perfectly ethical not to include what may have been a lengthy negotiation between Colin and Ray but, on the flipside, sometimes there isn’t a conversation, and people decide to take risks. I’m all for people making their own decisions about taking those risks, as long as they’re able to assess them.
As a psychologist, I can see what psychological conflicts they were trying to pull away from. Ray may need to be in control because that’s how he manages emotion. When he loses control, it doesn’t feel safe to him. It’s harder to tell with Colin. He gains the ability to speak more about what he wants, now that he understands what’s being asked of him. It’s important people are made clear that a relationship of this kind can be very healthy.
The sex in this movie is so impressive. It looked incredibly real. Usually on screen, any kind of sex is covered up. But with this, it’s raw. That will challenge a lot of people.
Dr Lori Beth Bisbey is a GSRD therapist, sex and intimacy coach and psychologist.
KrugerAfterDark, 55, Cambridgeshire
In the past, BDSM practices were often marginalised and misunderstood, viewed as deviant or pathological. Representations of BDSM or fetish are very often reduced on celluloid to thriller and horror-genre psychopathic sadists, or the much-maligned stereotypical gimp in the basement. With Pillion, we observe human emotions and reactions where love and BDSM interact, and which many of us in the kink community can relate to.
I see this film as the ultimate homage to the origin story of leather BDSM. Gay leather culture originated in San Francisco in the late 1940s, ostensibly as a response to post-second world war motorcycle clubs, such as the one Marlon Brando belongs to in The Wild One (1953).
There are nods to the wider fetish community: latex, rubber, pup and sports gear. There was plenty of diverse fetish representation – steel chain chokers and key holding, indicative of ownership, feature prominently. But oddly, a complete omission of leather BLUF (Breeches and Leather Uniform Fanclub), the more prevalent iteration of leather in modern-day fetish. Perhaps the producers wanted it to be as representative as possible of fetish, but felt uneasy over the visual aesthetic of some BLUF uniforms, as many in the kink community do?
Nonetheless, Pillion is a film overdue about a community well used to stigmatisation from both the mainstream and the LGBTQ+ community.
KrugerAfterDark is a fetish community journal on Instagram.
‘It nailed that BDSM experimentation isn’t just in the bedroom’
Luca, 29, Oxford
I’ve rarely seen a film so excruciatingly British, with the tiny princess dog along for the date, the Christmas pub singing, and the full-tilt awkwardness. The fumbling but genuine support from Colin’s parents crystallised the complications of trying to overlap two (or more) very different social spheres. The film had fun with the classic quandary of being brattish against control, but also not being prepared to take that control on.
The most interesting part was Colin and Ray’s experimentation. We get to see Colin take chances to explore something – an act, a date, a lifestyle, a self-description – and not nail it on the first try, yet keep going. I expected that the film might crush their relationship at the first sign of pushback or discontent from Colin, and the fact that they didn’t makes it much more complex. We get to see him walk willingly, if fumblingly, into unknown situations, discover that he does indeed enjoy parts of it, as well as realise that he doesn’t have to keep the parts he doesn’t or can’t work with. He is happy; he could just be a bit happier. Pillion nailed the idea of BDSM/kink being about experimentation and self-exploration, and not just strictly in bed.
‘I cried four times’
Max Hovey, 26, Ashford
I was pretty blown away by Pillion. It was great to see something that showcased the less sanitised parts of queer culture. So often, representation is either really traumatic, or this polished romantic fantasy of queerness. To see the grittier, more raw and realistic parts of queer culture, specifically kink culture, was refreshing. There’s a lot that I related to. I think I cried four times.
Pillion is a very striking portrait of loneliness, and it highlights how challenging dating can be for queer people. I’m someone who lives in a small town, and dating is very hard. It can feel very lonely, and the film really highlights that.
In terms of Ray and Colin’s sexual dynamic, it felt like a lot of their love story was a metaphor for how we can accept way less than what we want and way less than what we feel we’re owed. Throughout the film, Colin is accepting less than what he wants. He’s yearning for something with more of a connection. You can see in the New Year’s scene, he clearly feels lonely and isolated, so he’s settling for any form of connection, even if it is purely sexual. It’s something a lot of queer people can relate to. When you’re experiencing that loneliness, you do just go along with things to feel any form of connection.
Max Hovey is a queer intimacy educator.
‘Heartstopper is sweet but I’ve never seen myself in it. Pillion was different’
Talia, 33, Oxford
I remember the first time I attended a kink party. It was euphoric. The rules that chafed me in my day-to-day life were turned on their head. When I left, I literally felt high. I remember the person who had invited me said, “Welcome to the new way of the world.” I carried that other “world” with me for days. I sat there on the tube, looking at people with this feeling that they had no clue what was happening around them. I was the keeper of a magnificent secret, and none of the confines of my old life seemed to have power over me any more. Pillion captured this feeling perfectly. I’m not sure how people will react to Colin’s decision to tolerate (or even revel) in Ray’s treatment of him, but to me, his motivations were crystal clear.
The problem with the other world is that you can’t live in it all the time. There is lots of talk and fantasising in the kink community about 24/7 BDSM relationships – and I’m sure some people do engage in them – but at some point, someone has to file the taxes. Pillion isn’t afraid to sit in that uncomfortable juncture where fantasy meets reality.
As a lesbian, I think one of my favourite things about Pillion is that it’s a queer film, but everyone in it is a little fucked up. Some of us are perverts, and that’s OK. Shows like Heartstopper are sweet, but I’ve never seen myself in them. I’m human, I’m flawed, and I’ve been in some terrible relationships. While my ex was not a leather daddy – although I did ride pillion on a motorcycle with her once – there were beats in this film that were relatable not because they were kinky, but because they encapsulated that desperate feeling of a toxic first love.
I take my hat off to [director] Harry [Lighton] for having the balls to make this film. I think it’s funny, really thought-provoking, and it sheds a lot of light on the way relationships in our leather community work. There are so many moments in the film that touched my heart. I see so much of my own mum and dad in Colin’s parents.
The kink community, for me, is the one place where you have a collection of people who are all together and showing off all their vulnerabilities. They’re their most authentic selves because you are seeing them as they really want to be seen. Obviously, they’re not going to walk around in it 24 hours a day, though some probably might. But I think it’s very rare that you encounter that level of authenticity and vulnerability in a world that is full of lies and bullshit.
To actually immerse yourself in that community is a real treasure. I’ve made some of the most incredibly strong, loyal friendships through the kink community, simply because I know more about that person than some of their best friends or family do. It’s really special to be part of that authenticity, as you don’t see it in many other areas of life. I treasure that.
I really do love this film, and I hope it can dispel myths about the community. There’s so much warmth and so much humanity in Pillion.
Homme de Cuir is a steel artist and designer and some of his works appear in Pillion.
