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Half-time reading:
HALF-TIME: Liverpool 1-0 Tottenham Hotspur
This is much better from Spurs but still a way away from where it needs to be. However they’re still in the game and I imagine they’d have taken that at kick-off.
45+3 min And Tel swings in a decent corner too, various big lads block off Van Dijk and Richarlison is up again … heading down firmly, but too close to Alisson, who shovels away.
45+2 min Tel has, as I mentioned earlier, improved in recent weeks and he’s growing into this game, burrowing into what looks like a blind alley down the left but winning a corner.
45 min We’ll have two additional minutes.
45 min Richarlison battles for the ball outside the box then moves into it and, when Tel crosses, he’s up … only to head just wide of the far post. Better from Spurs.
43 min …but Spurs get it away and, when the ball comes back, Szoboszlai curling in beautifully, Van Dijk heads back across into a defender, then crosses low but no one attacks the six-yard box.
42 min Ngumoha loves to go at men on the outside, he tries it with Souza, gratefully accepts the shove, and now Szoboszlai will whip in from near the by-line …
41 min I really want to understand why Tudor thinks 3-4-3 is the way to go with these players, at this stage of the season, against this opposition. Spurs are outnumbered in the middle and out wide, with no out-ball and no sense of what kind of goal they’re hoping to score. Adamley? Ademowski? Adler? Adamson? Bueller? Bueller? Bueller? Bueller?
39 min “Sorry, the rugby analogy, like Spurs, is broken” advises Richard Hirst. “If they’d kicked for touch and forced a lineout near the Liverpool try line they’d be doing well. More like they kicked out on the full, and the lineout was back where they kicked from. Just saying.”
Telt.
37 min Tangentially, what do we make of the Kinsky situation last week? On the one hand, my instinct is to feel bad for him and how was thrown in like that but, on the other, he’s a professional who, knowing he’s not played much and is away in the Champions League knockouts, so surely should know better than to muck about in possession in the first 15 minutes. I guess we’ve all been in a situation where we’ve acted impetuously and been punished hard, then desired a bit of sympathy thereafter, so.
36 min Liverpool win it high with Robertson and he moves on to Mac Allister who finds Gakpo inside the box, left of centre; he shoots low and hard, but plunging right, Vicario tips on to the post. That’s a really good save.
34 min Nice from Liverpool, Szoboszlai finding Wirts, who moves on to Ngumoha … whose shot is blocked. We’re not seeing much from Liverpool in the way of combination-play; there’s not much feel among their front three.
33 min “Some good decisions by Slot today,” reckons Oliver Lind. “With Salah on the bench, we are now playing 10 v 11, which sounds about just enough to beat Spurs. Would have preferred to see Gakpo on the bench, too, for some old-school 11 v 11 though.”
This looks like the end for Salah at Anfield, doesn’t it? You could tell his run last season wouldn’t sustain, and when it didn’t, it always looked like a dead cat bounce. Well, here we are.
31 min A poor clearance from Vicario is collected by Gakpo, who picks his way forward and crosses, Danso heading behind for a corner. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a team as lacking in devilment as this Spurs abomination, the collective not just less than the sum of its parts but less than the sum of 0+1.
30 min It’s a while since Spurs did anything but defend and, when they win a free0kick, rather then get it into the box, they go short, the subsequent pass sailing into touch for a lineout near the try-line.
27 min In comms, Jamie Carragher avoids saying “at different times” – if you’ve not noticed it’s a favourite phrase, I’m afraid it’s now with you forever – while noting that Liverpool lack pace in wide areas. For a club that spent as much as they did on attackers, that reflects poorly, but I’d not be surprised if Ngumoha establishes himself on the left now; the question is what happens in the middle if ever Isak and Ekitike are fit at the same time.
26 min Lovely from Ngumoha, bouncing away from Porro before spreading to Frimpong on the opposite flank. He can’t find a route down the line so goes back infield, and eventually the attack peters out.
23 min “Sorry about you having to redact my worries about the game,” returns Nick, Wayne, “but I think the sooner the better we’re down, and they cut out the deadwood the better. Staying up like this is pointless. Sorry but there it is.”
It’s a tricky one. Leicester recently went down when they shouldn’t have done, kept most of their players, then won the Champo … before going down again. The problem Spurs have is the players they want to keep might want to leave and the ones they want to sell no one will fancy.
21 min Gravenberch lanks forward and no one closes, so he measures a curler which I realise makes him sound like Hilda Ogden, shooting just wide.
20 min “Igor Tudor anagram,” says James Cabot. “Torrid U Go”. Another defeat today and he surely will.
GOAL! Liverpool 1-0 Tottenham Hotspur (Szoboszlai 19)
A swerving effort over the wall that’s nowhere near the corner, but Vicario, his confidence left somewhere in October 2024, can only palm it into the net. It’s not as bad as what we’ve seen this last week, but it is still dreadful.
17 min Mac Allister drives at Souza and Gray, makes sure to fall over an extended leg, and now Szoboszlai has a free-kick, 25 yards out, left of centre – or, in other words, in the perfect position. No one else is even pretending to loiter behind it.
15 min “Men in particular are meant to share their feelings, no?” begins Ian Copestake. “Well, to that end this Liverpool fan is desperate for what seems a gimme to be exactly that. In a world of chaos, I request something to be as it should be.”
Liverpool are moving it too slowly at the moment but, as I type, Frimpong goes at Spence on the outside; the defender gets back at him, knocking the ball behind, only for the ref to appraise a goalkick. This is the best Spurs have played in ages, for the less than zero that’s worth.
14 min Er, this is has been an alright start from Spurs? But as we said in the preamble…
13 min The corner is a decent one, swung flat to the back post, where Sarr heads into a defender and behind … but the flag goes up for a foul on the keeper.
11 min Souza feeds to Solanke down the left and he’s into the box, looking to poke a return pass for the tap-in … but an Dijk and Gomez do enough. Spurs, though, maintain the pressure, Souza stepping into a shot from distance, swerving away from Alisson, who tips over the top.
10 min Gravenberch slides forward to Wirtz, who moves square to Gakpo … whose shot is as they so frequently are: wafted, wayward and wide.
8 min Tel wears a ball in the face so goes through the concussion protocols before we continue. I hope they didn’t ask him what activity he’s engaging in, because that’s enough to stump all of us, ball in the phizog or not.
7 min Usually, teams battling relegation are ones you don’t want your team to meet because they’re fighting for their lives and with that comes intensity and desperation. Spurs, though, seem too shocked by what’s happening to them to react, furious at the effrontery of the cosmos in refusing to oblige their insipidity.
5 min lollipops from Ngumoha as he moves past Souza, the ball goes backwards and into the box, then Spurs get it away, Spence diverting into his own elbow … then back come Liverpool, Frimpong sticking too much on a cross for Gakpo.
3 min Immediately, Spurs retreat, Liverpool probing by moving the ball from side to side. They’ve been unduly conservative in attack recently, perhaps concerned about a porous defence, but their strength is up top – they should be playing to it, not limiting it, for mine.
2 min Right, Liverpool have Szoboszlai at right-back with Frimpong on the wing and Wirtz in midfield; Ngumoha is on the left, with Gakpo through the middle. That makes some sense, though I prefer Frimpong coming form deeper – and against this opposition, him on the wing feels unduly conservative.
1 min Spurs have turned Liverpool around, defending the Kop in the first half – the sign of team lacking bottle if ever there was one.
1 min Away we go!
“Radu Dragusin is the most hapless defender in modern Premier League history and will be a big part of why Spurs go down if they do,” thunders Christopher Flaherty. “Every time I see him he plays badly, gives away a goal or gets sent off.”
You could just as easily be talking about Romero or Van de Ven.
Our teams are tunnelled … and here they come!
So, where is the game? Well, Liverpool will look to get at Spurs down the sides, behind the wing-backs and outside the outside centre-backs, but will also expect to dominate midfield with an extra man there – even without Wirtz dropping in. It’s very hard to see how they don’t boss every aspect of this game.
Spurs, meantime, have two full-backs at wing-back so I’m not sure how they’re expecting to create from wide – especially as Porro, their best attacker in that position, is at centre-back. And, given Liverpool are vilnerable down the flanks, that doesn’t make a;l that much sense. Otherwise, they’ll want Richarlison box-crashing, hoping he’s not picked up, while Tel, who’s improved a bit in recent weeks, looks to get shots off.
Slot is playing Ngumoha now as he’s been training with them all season, improving and his game-time has gone up so he’s not ready having played well against Wolves. Also, Ekitike missed a day of training in the week and, with three games in seven days, plus another on Wednesday with the potential to go into extra time, he’s on the bench. I whinged abot that earlier, but actually, fair enough.
“It’s not only Igor Tudor who has problems; Arne Slot is in a bit of a mire too,” reckons Darryl Ancone. “The Postecoglou Paradox says that the second season is always better; the Slot Syllogism deems the opposite.
Premise one: Slot wins the league in his first season. (As he’s done in the Eredivisie and the Premiership).
Premise two: Slot fails to win the league in his second season. (As happened in the Eredivisie and is about to happen in the PL).
Conclusion: Slot is a first-season wonder, a second-season flunker.
How he’ll do in a third consecutive season at a club is anyone’s guess. Will he even be at Anfield after the summer break?”
Last season, his team were a season nearer Jürgen Kloop, too – remember how Mourinho’s Chelsea were great for years after Mourinho left – but now, there’s much more of him in them and, so far, it’s showing. If Liverpool don’t make the Champions League he’s toast – and, especially with Xabi Alonso available, he may be anyway.
On which point, Harry Redknapp could scarcely have done more to undermine him when interviewed at Cheltenham on Friday, saying he’d take the job and feeling as fit as he ever has. At this point, it feels to late in the day for tactical tweaks – Spurs need confidence and vibes, not only what Redknapp brings but the thesaurus antonym for “Igor Tudor”.
In rollneck and syoot, Igor Tudor says Conor Gallgher is out ill – Spurs only have seven subs – and says the players need to help each other. Then, told Anfield is the hardest place they could come right now, he corrects Patrick Davidson, noting that “every stadium is difficult for us now”, his unbridled and contagious positivity continuing apace.
“COYS,” begins Nick Wayne. “My notifications will be off at 4pm. It’s a lovely sunny day (so far...). Oh lord, what a [recacted]show to come.”
It’s now raining in north London…
Spurs, by the way, host Forest at 2.15pm next Sunday. That is colossal, whatever happens today.
The league table:
On which point, results from our early games:
Manchester United 3-1 Aston Villa
Nottingham Forest 0-0 Fulham
Crystal Palace 0-0 Leeds United
Solanke is, I think, the only player who might save Tottenham. If he can keep scoring, that could get them going – problem being he’s a 28-year-old who’s had one serious season or, in other words, a frankly ridiculous purchase at the price and one typical of Spurs.
Otherwise, Mohammed Kudus might be back after this month’s internationals, which would definitely help. But, in the meantime, his team look like they don’t really know how to score nor what type of goal they’re seeking to score, and in another two weeks, who knows where they’ll be in the table.
As for Tottenham, Tudor persists with the 3-4-3 formation that could barely suit his players less. Pedro Porro is plays on the right of the central-defenders, which might work better than Joao Palhinha – Terry Venables always liked a full-back there for their speed on the cover and ability to get forward. In midfield, meantime, Archie Gray – the only player not to shame himself in recent weeks – continues in his preferred position, finally doing what he was bought for while, up front, Solanke returns presumably because he couldn’t be risked in Madrid.
I’m really excited to see how Ngumoha does. I love what I’ve seen of him so far, in particular his desire to attack his man, something you can teach, and his timing, which you probably cannot. As we saw last evening, extreme talent is undeniable.
Otherwise, I’m guessing Florian Wirtz will play as a false nine, Slot still seeking a way of accentuating his technical brilliances while hiding his physical weaknesses; all I can say is there’s not a chance I’d leave out Ekitike for the overall package, but here we are.
In defence, I’m also looking forward to seeing how Frimpong does – at his best, he’s an explosive game-breaker, but injury has prevented him from showing much of it so far, while Joe Gomez is presumably felt a more reliable option than Konate.
We’ll discuss what it all means in a moment, but Manchester United now lead Villa 3-1, Benjamin Sesko scoring off the bench yet again.
Igor Tudor, meanwhile, makes four alterations to the side tormented by Atlético in midweek: Guglielmo Vicario replaces Antonin Kinsky in net just 16 minutes earlier than he did then, while Cristian Romero and Micky van de Ven are respectively concussed and suspended, Radu Dragusin and Souza replacing them while, in attack, Dominic Solanke is in for Randal Kolo Muani.
Ch ch ch changes: Arne Slot makes five to the team beaten by Galatasaray in midweek, the headline Rio Ngumoha’s first league start. Also in are Alisson, Jeremie Frimpong, Andy Robertson and Cody Gakpo, with Giorgi Mamardashvili, Ibrahima Konate, Milos Kerkez, Mohamed Salah and Hugo Ekitike dropping to the bench.
Teams!
Liverpool (4-3-3): Alisson; Frimpong, Gomez, Van Dijk, Robertson; Gravenberch, Szoboszlai, Mac Allister; Ngumoha, Wirtz, Gakpo. Subs: Mamardashvili, Konate, Kerkez, Salah, Chiesa, Jones, Ekitike, Nyoni, Ramsay.
Tottenham Hotspur (3-4-3): Vicario; Porro, Danso, Dragusin; Spence, Sarr, Gray, Souza; Richarlison, Solanke, Tel. Subs: Kinsky, Austin, Rowswell, Olusesi, Simons, Kolo Muani, Wilson.
Referee: Chris Kavanagh (Ashton-under-Lyne)
Elsewhere, in a match relevant to Spurs, Forest and Fulham are drawing 0-0 with roughly 23 minutes to go.
And of course the second of them is relevant to our game, Liverpool competing with United and Villa for a Champions League spot. The former went in front through Casemiro, Ross Barkley then equalised, and Matheus Cunha has just restored the home side’s advantage.
First things first: we’ve two bangers already in progress…
Preamble
Powerless patsies – among them cynics and sceptics, jokers and losers – acting with naivety and arrogance, making dreadful decisions as if on purpose, immense but obviously misplaced confidence gradually dwindling as threats and warnings are blithely ignored, peripheral characters departing the scene never to be seen again with those who remain reduced to meat puppets of gibbering jelly. Yes, Spurs’ season has more than a little in common with a horror movie.
But the tweak that makes their rendition uniquely compelling is the innovation of its meta aspect: the characters know they’re in a film, unable to escape a world they can’t control and fully aware there’s a worldwide audience wincing, laughing and cheering on the monster, their lives co-opted for kicks. There is no one anyone wants to be less.
In such circumstance, there is no staging post less inviting than Anfield. Just last season, many of the same players delivered one of the least vertebrate performances of all time, turning up in the second leg of the League Cup semi holding a one-goal lead before subsiding to a 4-0 defeat, terrified of even believing there was another way.
Of course, win today and suddenly life seems much less intense … except an unlikely triumph which suggests all will be well is yet another horror-movie trope. A horror-movie trope which precedes the most entertainingly gruesome carnage of all.
