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There’s been a bit of chat these last few weeks about the idea of a 15th v 16th playoff for a Champions League place, about which I’m not sure. It’s fair that United and Spurs qualified, it’s not their fault the other teams haven’t, so far, been good enough to stop them – United are the only side to have played in European competition this season who’ve not been beaten. This, of course, reflects the imbalance in money sloshing about the Prem relative to everywhere else, and of course that needs attention – which it won’t get – but I’m not sure that the likeliest final is any kind of specific issue in and of itself.
On the other hand, one thing I’ve been thinking about recently, and please let me know how and why I’m wrong: no side that has won a European competition should be eligible for the Conference League.
Something to think about while we’re thinking about football: my man Black Sherif has just released Iron Boy – in mine, the album of the year so far, if you’ve not heard it, check it out.
My wife and I were discussing how much we’re looking forward to hearing him sing absolutely flat-out, when the time’s right, then started thinking about our favourite examples of an artist doing just that, so here are four starters:
“This strange iteration of Manchester United can always find a way to make life as hard as possible for themselves and their fans,” reckons Justin Kavanagh. “So expect Bilbao to race into an early 0-2 lead tonight and for Amorim’s mob to maximize that elastic space-time ad nauseam known at Old Trafford as squeaky-bum time.”
Things will definitely get nervy if Bilbao score first, but without their three best attackers, even this United should muster the minor competence necessary not to make this one close. This is not the first time I’ve spoken these words.
TNT are now discussing Alejandro Garnacho who, for my money, had his best game for United in Bilbao, then followed it up with more decent work at Brentford. He is, though, in danger of being sold in the summer for PSR reasons, which makes some unpleasant sense: he’s definitely good enough to be a squad player in a serious team but whether he gets good enough to be a starter is unclear, and the system isn’t ideal for him.
On the other hand, he has the kind of mentality of which United need more, not less; he’s an excellent sub; and is starting to understand how to use a system that doesn’t obviously suit him, to suit him. If it wasn’t for the money troubles and required rebuild, selling him would never be on the agenda, but if United did sell him, they ought to be able to replace him with someone better.
A United v Spurs final: two bald men fighting over a free hair transplant.
That dilemma will soon sort itself: Lindelof, out of contract in the summer will leave, and Ayden Heaven, so impressive until his injury, will soon be back in contention. One that has no obvious resolution is what to do with Kobbie Mainoo, a fantastic talent who doesn’t really fit the manager’s system. The two men in midfield will ideally be monstrous athletes, and perhaps Mainoo could develop into one – he’s certainly added muscle – but as Amorim has himself acknowledged, charging about covering large spaces that’s not the best use of a player who has phenomenal and unusual small-space ability. The thing is, though he is fantastic when it’s tight inside the box, he’s also not a no 10, but someone needs to come up with something because he’s too good, too loved and too local to be let leave.
Taking a closer look at that United team, I’m not surprised it’s unchanged. They might’ve played Luke Shaw at left-centre-back and sent Yoro over to the right – that’s probably a better option than the one they’ve gone for, in Victor Lindelof – but Amorim is, as you would, easing Shaw back in slowly. If they make the final he’s still fit, having played the games in between, the manager has a decision to make.
Also going on:
Nani is on TNT, hanging out with Paul Scholes and Owen Hargreaves. He was not widely loved during the time he was at United – I remember seeing him in a suit at Chelsea once, and my dad quipped that hopefully he had a job interview – but goodness me, they’d have appreciated him these last years.
Tangentially, a funny thing about these Wilderness Years: almost every Premier League club would happily swap United’s last 12 years for their own. And probaby add a decade or two on to that.
“Given your preamble opener,” writes Ben Hennessy, “I’m gonna take a huge gamble on the idea that you’re not a Manchester United fan.”
Er, I’ve already booked flights to Bilbao for the final, which is to say it’s possible to be partial of heart yet honest of analysis. I don’t suppose my allegiance is much of a secret, but don’t worry, I was going to out myself as it’d be unfair if unkonwing readers were denied the total joy of my narrating any collapse.
Ruben Amorim speaks, and asked if it’s just a case of doing as they did last week, he notes that a better start will be required. When Patrick Dorgu is mentioned as someone who was nervous in Bilbao, he explains that his players know what to do. Otherwise, the team need to do something for the fans.
I’ll write these teams down, then we’ll do some emails.
United are unchanged from the first leg; Athletic make four changes. In come Unai Nunez, who replaces the suspended Vivian; Gorosabel, instead of De Marcos at right-back; while in attack, Inaki and Nico Williams are both injured, so Alvaro Djalo and Gomez play, while Sancet, the regular centre-forward, is also still hurt.
Teams!
Manchester United (3-4-2-1): Onana; Lindelof, Maguire, Yoro; Mazraoui, Casemiro, Ugarte, Dorgu; Garnacho, Fernandes; Hojlund. Subs: Bayindir, Heaton, Amass, Fredricson, Kamason, Shaw, Eriksen, Mainoo, Mount, Amad, Mantato.
Athletic Bilbao (4-2-3-1): Agirrezabala; Gorosabel, Yeray Alvarez, Unai Nunez, Berechiche; Ruiz De Galarreta, Jaureguizar; Alvaro Djalo, Gomez, Berenguer; Sannadi. Subs: Unai Simon, Paredes, Vesga, Guruzeta, Inigo Lekue, De Marcos, Prados, Peio Canales, Adama Boiro, Aingeru Olabarrieta, Alejandro Rego, Iker Varela.
Preamble
They couldn’t, could they?
There are many strong contenders for the Post-Fergie Wilderness YearsTM eff-up hit parade, and we all have our favourite favourite, whether the 7-0 defeat at Anfield; the various capitulations against Sevilla; the various slappings off Brighton and Bournemouth; the 4-0 defeat at MK Dons; the 2018 FA Cup final no-show; every single aspect of the 2021 Europa League final; the multifarious Champions League embarrassments; the derby outclassings; failing to score before half-time in 11 consecutive home games; three games in a week – one against a team from a division below which went to extra time – with no goals scored; losing thrice in one season to Spurs; watching Liverpool and Manchester City win everything in sight; and on and on and Ariston.
But, though the world of football is perhaps more disputatious than any other, we can surely all agree that, if they somehow make a mess of a 3-0 advantage, at home, we’ll be lauding a new entry, straight in at no 1. Which will feel like a birthday present, relative to the infinite, irredeemable and eternal shame of losing a European final to the aforementioned Spurs. Oh yes, there’s plenty more mileage in this yet.
Kick-off: 8pm BST
