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In 2022, two years after she and Prince Harry bolted to California in an unhappy exit from the royal family, the Duchess of Sussex was asked if she could foresee a return to acting. “No, I’m done,” she told Variety magazine. “I guess never say never, but my intention is to absolutely not.”
Well guess what – she’s back! At least according to news reports that claim the couple’s otherwise wholly unexpected return to the UK can be explained by one key factor: a new acting role for Meghan.
Almost a decade after filming her last significant role on the US TV drama Suits, the duchess has reportedly been offered a part in a “top secret” UK-based production. “I’m told it’s significant, and she’s very excited about it,” Brontë Coy, the reporter who broke the story on news.com.au, told the BBC. Representatives for the Sussexes have notably not denied the report.
So what could this secret, significant and exciting role be? Amid a whirl of feverish speculation without much basis in fact, here is some more.
The new James Bond
We have a vacancy, we’ve had years of speculation – why not some truly surprise casting with the first female, first Black and first formerly royal-adjacent Jamie or Jamesina Bond? Formal auditions and casting, we know, have been under way since the start of the summer, and Meghan did return to Britain for the first time in four years in July, which you may consider as basically rock-solid confirmation.
If Sean Connery could make an unexpected comeback as Bond, after all, why not Meghan in On His Majesty’s Secret Service II?
The villain in Line of Duty season 7
She certainly isn’t the notorious crime overlord H, who was revealed in season six to be some bloke nobody had ever seen before. And Meghan might find it difficult to play a significant role in the highly anticipated forthcoming season seven, given filming inconveniently wrapped last month.
But if there’s one thing the blockbuster BBC police drama loves, it’s a jaw-dropping and somewhat preposterous twist. Could Robert Carlyle, this season’s big-name cameo star, be revealed in a daring season finale switcheroo to be Meghan in disguise? I hear they can do wonders in post-production these days.
The new barmaid at the Queen Vic
Face it, you’d watch for the accent alone. King Charles and Queen Camilla visited Albert Square, home of the fictional soap EastEnders, in 2022, as did Queen Elizabeth in 2001. But did any of them pull a pint behind the bar of Britain’s most famous boozer while their husband listened to a tape revealing they were shagging his brother, leading to him serving divorce papers on Christmas Day, after which he was shot by a mystery passing cockney who yelled: “You ain’t my muvvah!”?
No, they did not.
Coma patient in Casualty
Are we aiming too high? Meghan may still be on the books of the Hollywood power-agents WME, but her IMDb profile has undeniably been patchy of late. What better way to show her commitment to the British entertainment industry than starting where so many illustrious performers have: with a tiny role in the BBC’s very long-running hospital drama?
It was good enough for Kate Winslet (as a troubled teen), Minnie Driver (as an HIV patient) and Orlando Bloom (as an unlikely builder). Talent nurseries Holby City, the Bill and Doctors may sadly be no more, but the unkillable Casualty will be back in early September. Why not mark its 40th anniversary by defibrillating a duchess?
Drivetime presenter on Magic FM
What did Meghan most miss about the UK in her six years in California? Not the British tabloids. Not her in-laws, we can assume. No: when asked this very question by the Doncaster-born Queer Eye stylist Tan France on her own lifestyle show, Meghan named the smooth home of retro hits, Magic FM radio station. “That’s such a grandma station,” said France, to which she replied: “I’ll be that grandma.”
Could the smooth tones of Montecito soon be cueing up the mellow magic of Lionel Richie and Michael Bolton? “We are creating a party and everyone is welcome, so Meghan is very welcome,” the station’s owner, Bauer Media, has said. Could that mean behind a mic? Watch this space, Britain.
