‘My career flashed before my eyes’: Steven McRae’s devastating onstage injury and proud return as Romeo

7 hours ago 3

Debuting in the role of Romeo as a young dancer with the Royal Ballet in 2007 remains one of my all-time highs. Each time you step out to tackle the iconic repertory feels surreal and to perform on the Royal Opera House stage is the most extraordinary feeling.

That’s something I have regularly experienced since joining the company in 2004 until … Bang! In October 2019, alone on stage with 2,250 people watching, I took off for a jump and my achilles tendon snapped.

Confused, embarrassed and in pain, I fell to the floor and my career flashed before my eyes. The thrill and joy of a life devoted to dance – with every drop of sweat and blood – was now at risk of being taken away from me. There I was, in a haze of chaos with people running around me, yet I felt as if the world stood still. How on earth was I going to save my career and continue to support my three young children? Panic, humiliation, fear and anger consumed me, lying at the side of the stage and looking down at the chunk of achilles that was separated from my leg.

Within 20 minutes I had been carried back to my dressing room and a surgeon consulted over the phone. My director Kevin O’Hare made it clear that we would find a way to get me back on the stage. Of course the show must go on and it did, with a colleague taking over my role and the curtain raised again.

As someone who moved from the other side of the world, sacrificing my own family in Australia to pursue this career, I was no stranger to being out of my comfort zone. Yet having to learn to walk again, let alone dance at an elite level, seemed unrealistic.

Steven McRae (Romeo) in Romeo and Juliet at the Royal Opera House.

I embarked on documenting this unknown challenge with the French film-maker Stéphane Carrel in an effort to shine a light on these humbling, life-altering experiences. The Royal Ballet has been building an industry-leading medical team for its dancers over the past decade, so it was also a chance to explore the crossover between art, sport, science and medicine. The team brings together knowledge and experience from the worlds of athletics, gymnastics, hockey, NFL, psychology, nutrition and more. They provide performance support and enhancement for dancers, alongside rehabilitation for those with injuries.

The filming was intimate, yet incredibly therapeutic. Stéphane acted as a silent therapist, never probing for an answer, yet providing moments for me to naturally open up about how I was feeling.

The process of recovery continues to be gruelling. The physical and mental challenges have been immense, affecting my daily life with my family and making even a simple walk to the park a task that could be too difficult. I began a daily programme of gym sessions, hooked up to devices tracking my strength and power. Along with Pilates, one-on-one ballet coaching, swimming and eventually rehearsals, I regained the confidence to tackle the demands of a principal dancer.

The rehab process quickly revealed aspects of my profession that I believe need to change. The fear of being replaced – and my inability to say no – were among the first lessons learned. Dancers live with the idea that our careers are short so we should do everything now; if we prioritised our health and work schedules we would no doubt have longer, and very fulfilling, careers. I came to understand that I was living in a constant state of burnout, greatly under-fuelled for what I was asking my body to do. After hours spent with the Royal Ballet’s sports scientist Gregor Rosenkranz, I realised dancers need to respect their bodies just as elite athletes do.

A scene from Romeo and Juliet by the Royal Ballet at the Royal Opera House.

Thankfully things are changing. The Royal Ballet is leading the way in dancer healthcare and support, and my recovery demonstrates the difference this can make. The BBC film Dancing Back to the Light is an offering to future generations of any profession to encourage them to put their health first.

Since returning to the stage in Romeo and Juliet in 2021, I have enjoyed once more flying around the Opera House stage that I love so much although another challenge occurred in 2023 when I snapped my anterior cruciate ligament in the knee mid-performance.

This weekend I will become Romeo once again. A role I first took on 18 years ago. Becoming a father three times, the injuries I have experienced and the love and support of my wife, Elizabeth, have all combined to make the character far more complex and emotional for me, especially in Act 3 as I am now so aware of how far I would go to protect those I love.

I’m proud not just to return to the stage but also that my children have witnessed and lived through these experiences, knowing that although we are all confronted by challenges, with the right people surrounding you anything is possible.