This was an exercise in how not to use the first of only two matches to tune-up before a major European final from Manchester United.
Ruben Amorim’s team were pattern-less, pathetic and end demoralised with only Friday’s trip to Chelsea left to erase the memory before jetting into Bilbao to face Tottenham in the Europa League final on Wednesday week.
When Tomas Soucek’s 26th-minute back-heel beat Altay Bayindir United sunk to 17th in the table, an inarguable barometer of how they have fallen under Amorim. By the interval they were up a berth as Tottenham trailed to Crystal Palace, where they stayed, and so continental club football’s second-tier tourney at the San Mames Stadium will pit foes occupying, to their blushes, the first two places above the drop zone.
Amorim can – and probably will – remind his players that they remain the only team unbeaten in Europe and have to separate Premier League woes from this. It is a useful point yet beyond whatever happens against Spurs the searing question concerns where this Amorim unit heads and whether even expert recruitment in the summer can transform what is an awful team domestically.
Toward the close Amad Dialla broke and fed Rasmus Højlund whose shot found Alphonse Areola’s midriff. Then, at a corner, Harry Maguire, on as a substitute, rose and once more headed at Areola, before the toothless Højlund forced a smart near-range save from the goalkeeper. Here, two or three phases that encapsulated United, whose late-contest rally was as energetic as the fare was previously soporific.

In blazing sun, both sets of players flitted about at half-speed, swapping possession as if in the warm-up. When the pace was increased a fraction, gaps opened, as when Bruno Fernandes twice blasted over for United, a Maximilian Kilman header missed at the other end, and Diallo illustrated his quality.
After teasing the ball at Aaron Wan-Bissaka, the right-wingback swooped inside and, with his stronger left, let fly: as the crowd “oohed” Alphonse Areola, West Ham’s goalkeeper, saved.
Due to the Europa League showpiece Amorim shuffled his pack, and though Bayindir’s inclusion for André Onana in goal was most noteworthy, the stand-in could do zero to prevent the opener. Down the left, Wan-Bissaka found Mohammed Kudos, he fizzed the ball across, and Soucek fashioned a back-flick that deflected off Harry Amass, and United had conceded the opener in 22 of their 36 Premier game-days, including 11 of the last 16.
For West Ham, showing three changes, this was a fine opening salvo in the bid to end an eight-game streak with no win. United, donning a one-off shirt showing the logo of health injustice charity (Red) to raise awareness, were disjointed.
At a next Hammers foray, Bayindir rushed forward to fend off a delivery but Noussair Mazraoui stepped across him to blast away for a corner. Then, twice, Højlund showed why he draws the ire of a sizable constituency of United enthusiasts.
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A swivel and unload ended with the ball in the heavens and the No 9 pratfallen. Next, running on to a clever Manuel Ugarte chip from midfield, Højlund’s right-booted volley was as powder-puff as United’s league endeavours.
Whatever Amorim told his players at the break did zero because, in a Keystone Cops-esque passage, Amass ceded the ball along United’s left, Shaw slipped over and seemed unable to regain his feet, and each were helpless as the remainder of the rearguard were run ragged, before James Ward-Prowse shot at Bayindir.
The plot worsened for United when Leny Yoro limped off, and Shaw, sans limp, followed, perhaps having felt a twinge. On came Victor Lindelöf and Maguire and the latter soon decried Jarred Gillett for not awarding a penalty for an apparent shirt pull, the referee having previously turned down Diallo’s entreaties when he went to ground.
Now, what ensued, was the Hammers second as United were shredded. Ugarte dawdled and was pickpocketed, Kudos skinned Maguire, and the ball ended up left, where Wan-Bissaka’s roll to Jarrod Bowen was as smooth as the captain’s finish into the empty right corner.
At the final whistle the packed travelling section was jubilant and gleeful and their counterpart, for an umpteenth time this term, had to chew over what they had just witnessed.