‘The only thing you need is your own mind’: how to start meditating

Everyone has to start somewhere. In this new column, experts give advice about activities and practices that will help you live well. Because the first step is usually the hardest.

Meditation has many benefits. Studies have found it can help with anxiety, depression, insomnia and even gut health. So why isn’t everyone doing it all the time?

“I often hear people say: ‘I tried meditation once and I failed. I couldn’t stop thinking,” says Sharon Salzberg, a meditation teacher and author.

But an empty mind is not the goal of meditation, Salzberg says. The goal is to change our relationship to thoughts so that instead of being swept away by them, we can develop “a balanced awareness”.

Sitting with our thoughts can be challenging. According to a 2014 study from the University of Virginia, many people would rather receive a mild electric shock than sit alone in silence for 15 minutes.

But there can be rewards. “When we engage in this practice, our physical brains change,” says Dr Richard Davidson, founder and director of the Center for Healthy Minds at the University of Wisconsin-Madison. With regular meditation, the complex networks in our brain that control our emotional responses and executive functioning can be rewired. “This enables meditation to produce effects that are enduring,” Davidson says.

Start small

“Meditation doesn’t require any special setting,” says Davidson. “The only thing you need is your own mind.”

There is no set amount of time one should meditate. Whether it’s five minutes or 15 minutes, the best meditation is the one you’ll do. Salzberg recommends setting an alarm so you don’t spend your meditation wondering how much time has passed.

“Don’t try to sit for 20 minutes, and then it’s so hard that your body and mind get tired, and you don’t want to do it the next day,” says Kaira Jewel Lingo, a meditation and mindfulness teacher and author.

Sit comfortably

Sit in a way that’s comfortable and allows your back to be upright. (“You don’t have to be in a pretzel pose,” says Salzberg.) This could be in a chair or on a pillow on the floor.

Your hands can rest in your lap or on your thighs – wherever is most comfortable, says Lingo. The rest of your body should be aligned. “Check that your neck and head are balanced over your spine, so you’re not leaning forward, or back, or off to the side,” she says.

Your eyes can be open or closed. If they are open, let your gaze rest on a spot on the floor a few feet in front of you.

Notice how you feel

As you settle in, feel your feet on the floor, your seat in the chair and any other sensations in the body.

“There may be tension, an itch or a tingle,” says Lingo. Whatever you find, she says, let it be.

Notice your thoughts and emotions. If your mind is racing or you feel anxious and distracted, that’s fine. “We’re not trying to change anything with mindfulness,” Lingo says. “We’re just noticing.”

Focus on the breath

Notice the feeling of your breath. “Just the normal, natural breath,” says Salzberg.

To do this, find the place in your body where the breath is most noticeable to you. Salzberg suggests this could be at the nostrils, chest or abdomen.

“Bring your attention there, rest, and see if you can feel just one breath,” she says.

When your thoughts wander, begin again

Your thoughts will wander. It’s inevitable. But that’s not a sign of failure, Salzberg says. In fact, it’s the whole point of meditation. When you notice your focus has strayed, just let go of whatever you were thinking about and return to noticing your breath.

“If you have to let go and begin again seven billion times in those few minutes, it’s fine. That’s the skill we’re developing,” Salzberg says.

If you want to make it a habit

If you like meditating and want to continue, there are lots of resources available – try to find books, podcasts, YouTube videos, apps, or in-person and online communities that are convenient or appealing. There are also different types of meditation to try, like walking meditation, transcendental meditation and loving-kindness meditation, in which you send thoughts of goodwill and kindness to yourself and others.

Whatever kind of meditation you pursue, experts say that as you move forward with your practice, a guide can be helpful.

“We need to be reminded that [meditation] is not about blocking thoughts. It’s not about some weird model of perfectionism,” Salzberg says.