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3 hours ago
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Name: The zero-argument marriage.
Age: Potentially ancient.
Appearance: A picture of eternal marital bliss.
You can be married to someone without arguing? Yes.
Cobblers. It’s true. Just because some marriages are unceasingly stressful and combative, it doesn’t mean that everyone else’s are.
Name me one person – just one person – who doesn’t argue with their spouse. Oh, that’s easy. George Clooney.
Cobblers. It’s true. Two years ago, George and Amal Clooney revealed to CBS Mornings that they have never had an argument, describing their marriage as “the easiest thing in our lives by far”. Clooney was recently asked to update everyone on the matter, and his response was, “We’re trying to find something to fight about.”
I see. So the secret to a happy married life is to pick a perfect partner with whom you get along beautifully. Yes, that’s it.
And also be a multimillionaire who doesn’t need to work for a living while living a life of luxury in several giant homes around the world. Well, I suppose that helps too.
And also have a nanny to look after your kids four days a week. Why are you being so cynical? You’re starting to sound a little jealous.
I just don’t think it’s possible to live with someone without arguing. Maybe the Clooneys implement some of the tactics advocated by other relentlessly happy couples.
Oh yeah? Like what? Perhaps they take five-second breaks to reset whenever they feel tension starting to build. That’s known to defuse arguments.
What else? Maybe they follow the advice of a 2019 American study that found happy couples tend to work together on fixing solvable issues in their relationship, in order to better equip themselves when larger problems arise.
Hang on, though – isn’t fighting good for a relationship? What do you mean?
In 2002, a study found that couples who routinely avoided bringing up certain topics in a relationship often reported greater dissatisfaction than those who did not. That’s interesting. So you’re saying that arguments are a sign that both spouses still care about the relationship?
Within reason, yes. Just look at us. All we ever do is fight. I suppose you’re right. And we’ve been together for 33 years.
So what you’re saying is that, while George and Amal Clooney might seem like the perfect married couple … They’d struggle to write a pithy 450-word column explaining contemporary fads several times a week. And isn’t that really the most important thing?
Do say: “It is possible to be married without arguing.”
Don’t say:“No it isn’t, you idiot.”
