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7 hours ago
3
Elena, 29
He’s more experienced than me, because he had an ex-girlfriend who was quite into kinky sex
John and I met at work, and he wooed me with a grand gesture. One day as I was leaving, he stood in front of my car, and gave me his number. Every single one of our colleagues was watching, which was embarrassing, but I was also impressed by John’s boldness. He leant against the bonnet of my car as he wrote down his number on this little piece of paper, which was very sexy and assertive – although knowing John as I do now, I realise he must have actually been extremely nervous. He’s a very shy person, and was only 21 at the time. I don’t think he had ever chatted up a woman in his life before.
When we first started dating we had sex a lot. I remember one time John was dropping me off at my dad’s house, and I told him to drive down the lane, and park up in a little bit of woodland. We had sex on the back seat, with me on top of him, which was pretty uncomfortable, but very spontaneous. I’m five years older than John, and the age-gap put me off at first, but he’s extremely calm and mature. Sexually, he’s more experienced than me, because he had an ex-girlfriend who was into quite kinky sex. We are vanilla in bed – but if anything, I sometimes feel like it’s John who is the one teaching me.
We’ve been together for three years now, and I don’t feel the same urge to have sex as I did in the beginning. John wants it more than me – I suppose that’s because he’s a 24-year-old man, so he has all this energy. We live at my dad’s place and are saving for our own home, and perhaps it is being together all the time in that environment that makes me want it less. I don’t think I’ll ever feel the same intense excitement in bed with John as I did initially, but I now feel a sense of safety and love I value just as much.
The only time I feel bit uncomfortable about our age difference is when younger women are around – I wonder if he might be attracted to one of those pretty girls. But John is the most dedicated, sweet boyfriend – he never seems to notice other women, so this is all in my head.
John, 24
Elena and I are quite similar in the sense that we both feel most like having sex when we feel loved
Elena has this calmness about her that I find very attractive. You know when she has arrived in a room, because she has so much confidence. Whereas I’m very shy, so when I gave her my number in the car park, I was secretly terrified. She didn’t text me for about six hours after, and I was so nervous, checking my phone every 15 minutes.
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We had sex more at the beginning of our relationship, but I prefer the way things are now. I remember the first time we slept together, I woke up with this mad thought in my head that she might tell me the whole thing had been a drunken mistake. But three years in, I enjoy the feeling of security Elena and I have together. I was cheated on by an ex, so the idea of game-playing is just not exciting for me. Elena and I are similar in the sense that we both like having sex more when we feel loved.
I definitely want sex more than Elena does, but that’s just accepted between us. I don’t mind waiting. I would obviously prefer for Elena to be in the right frame of mind and now we do it less often, it feels more special. We are living together in her family home, so the kind of sex we have depends on who else is in. If we have an empty house it tends to be a bit more adventurous. Usually, I take the lead but I prefer it when Elena takes control and goes on top. Her favourite position is reverse cowgirl.
On the rare occasions when Elena gets jealous, I feel a mixture of emotions. It’s frustrating, because I want her to trust me, but I also feel a little flattered. She has nothing to worry about. I never really think about the age gap between us – since I was about 17, people have said I behave more like a 30-year-old. The idea of going out with lots of women has never appealed to me. That’s just sex; what Elena and I have is love.
