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25 min “Amorim’s Adolescents?” offers Joe Pearson.
Too many syllables, no?
24 min Dalot’s dangerous half-volleyed cross is just in front of Hojlund in the six-yard box. It’s a good game now.
23 min: Garnacho misses a sitter! Bruno Fernandes found him in all sorts of space – created by Hojlund’s off-the-ball run – on the left side of the area. If anything Garnacho had too much time. His first touch was excellent but then he smacked the ball over the bar from 10 yards.
22 min A really nice effort from Zirkzee, who beats Bergvall 22 yards from goal and arcs a curling shot across goal. It bounces just past the far post with Vicario scrambling.
22 min “So in the tradition of the Busby Babes and Fergie’s Fledglings, what are we to call the Portugeezer’s benchful of youthful potential?” wonders Justin Kavanagh. “Ruben’s Rug Rats, perhaps?”
Doesn’t it have to be his surname for consistency? Mind you that gives us the decidedly uncatchy Amorim’s Apprentices.
21 min Spurs continue to dominate the ball. Aside from that Vicario double save, Man Utd haven’t really threatened.
19 min Tel lays the ball off to Kulusevski, whose shot from the edge of the area is blocked by Maguire.
17 min That was the eighth goal Spurs have scored against Man Utd this season – four in the league and four in that madcap Carabao Cup quarter-final.
15 min It looked like Onana could have done better on the goal, though I’d like to see a few more replays to be sure. The save was decent enough but he pushed the ball out in front of goal rather than to the side.
Porro’s deep cross was volleyed back across by Son. It broke to Bergvall, whose low shot was pushed out in front of goal by the diving Onana. Maddison was first on the scene and sidefooted into the net from four yards. He celebrated in the usual style, finding the nearest camera and throwing some imaginary arrers.
GOAL! Tottenham 1-0 Man Utd (Maddison 13)
James Maddison is back on the oche!
12 min “With Spurs having used at least three goalkeepers this season,” says Peter Oh, “casual fans might have trouble remembering who the first-choice player is. My recommendation is to Guglie it.”
10 min: Double save by Vicario! Man Utd explode into life. Hojlund makes an excellent channel run, cuts inside on his left foot and rams a low shot that is pushed away by the partially unsighted Vicario. United regain possession and Garnacho’s trademark curler from the edge of the area is pawed away by the diving Vicario. Dalot hooks the rebound into the six-yard box and Davies shins it away.
8 min “On Peacock, Jon Champion has said that United’s teenagers had to take a separate bus from Manchester, because of safety rules?” says Joe Pearson. “What!?”
It’s that woke mob again.
6 min Son gets away from Dalot and curls a dangerous left-foot cross that bounces past Dorgu and Kulusevski at the far post. It’s one-way traffic at the moment.
5 min Spurs have had most of the ball in the first five minutes, albeit without getting behind the United defence.
2 min Man Utd have started with Dorgu on the left and Dalot on the right; they play on the opposite sides against Leicester in the FA Cup last week.
1 min And they’re off.
A reminder of the teams
Tottenham Hotspur (4-1-4-1) Vicario; Pedro Porro, Danso, Davies, Spence; Bentancur; Kulusevski, Bergvall, Maddison, Son; Tel.
Substitutes: Kinsky, Udogie, Gray, Bissouma, Sarr, Moore, Odobert, Johnson, Scarlett.
Manchester United (3-4-2-1) Onana; Mazraoui, Maguire, De Ligt; Dalot, Casemiro, Fernandes, Dorgu; Zirkzee, Garnacho; Hojlund.
Substitutes: Harrison, Amass, Fredricsson, Heaven, Lindelof, J Fletcher, Kone, Moorhouse, Obi.
Some of the best writing about Manchester United can be found on Substack, particularly Tim de Lisle’s newsletter, United Writing. Do your brain a favour and sign up.
I can’t be the only person who, upon seeing that Man Utd subs bench, was transported back to the days of Russell Beardsmore, Tony Gill, Jules Maiorana and Deiniol Graham.
“Imagine the scene in the two dressing rooms,” begins Richard Hirst. “In one the manager is saying ‘come on lads, it’s Spurs’, and in other the manager is saying ‘come on lads, it’s United’. The glorious thing is that they are both right, so we can expect an hour and a half of chaos, comedy and red cards (Betancur/Maddison v Fernandes/Casemiro anyone?).
“On the other hand it might be 0-0.”
Ange Postecoglou’s pre-match thoughts
Having the players back in training has been a big thing. We’ve hardly trained for the last two-and-a-half months, and when we have it’s been with a lot of under-21 and under-18 players. Training this week has been outstanding because we’ve had a pretty much a full complement of senior players involved.
Having Vic and Madders back is big for us – not just the players they are but the people they are as well.
Ruben Amorim on Man Utd’s multiple absentees
It’s a mixture of illness and injury. It is what it is. We have the kids and they are ready to play. It’s a really hard season and we have to deal with it.
In bad situations, sometimes good things happen.
The fan group Change for Tottenham are protesting against Daniel Levy ahead of today’s game. Banners on show include “24 years, 16 managers, 1 trophy - Time for change” and “Our Game Is About Glory, Levy’s Game is About Greed.”
Team news
Spurs are boosted by the return from injury of Guglielmo Vicario and James Maddison, with Ben Davies also coming into the side. Archie Gray, Mikey Moore and Antonin Kinsky drop to the bench. Brennan Johnson and Wilson Odobert are also among the subs.
Man Utd are down to the bare bones, with Amad Diallo, Kobbie Mainoo, Manuel Ugarte, Toby Collyer, Leny Yoro and Christian Eriksen all unavailable. Casemiro comes into the team, while the exciting 17-year-old Chido Obi – who scored a hat-trick against Chelsea in the FA Youth Cup this week – is in United’s matchday squad for the first time. He’s one of eight teenagers on the bench.
Tottenham Hotspur (4-1-4-1) Vicario; Pedro Porro, Danso, Davies, Spence; Bentancur; Kulusevski, Bergvall, Maddison, Son; Tel.
Substitutes: Kinsky, Udogie, Gray, Bissouma, Sarr, Moore, Odobert, Johnson, Scarlett.
Manchester United (3-4-2-1) Onana; De Ligt, Maguire, Mazraoui; Dorgu, Casemiro, Fernandes, Dalot; Zirkzee, Garnacho; Hojlund.
Substitutes: Harrison, Amass, Fredricsson, Heaven, Lindelof, J Fletcher, Kone, Moorhouse, Obi.
Preamble
Hello and welcome to live coverage of two bald millionaires fighting over a comb. At the start of the season Tottenham Hotspur and Manchester United had eyes on the top four, not the top 14, but both have had such miserable seasons that today’s game is 15th v 14th.
Both are still among the favourites to win the Europa League, a reflection of their status and potential. And although there is nothing tangible to play for in the league, both teams – and managers – could really use a positive result today: for their confidence, and to stay off the back pages.
Kick off 4.30pm.
