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1 day ago
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Name: Submarining.
Age: The first contraption that could really be called a submarine was built by a Dutchman, Cornelis Drebbel, in 1620 for King James I, and tested on the Thames.
So submarining began in the early 17th century? The old meaning of submarining did.
There’s a new meaning of submarining? Hello? Is this past notes? No! It’s pass notes. Up to the minute, on trend, breaking news. Of course there’s a new meaning.
Is it to do with Keir Starmer’s warfare state and the nuclear deterrent? Nope.
Is it about dating? It’s usually about dating. It’s about dating. Toxic dating.
But it’s not floodlighting? I remember that one – the oversharing of personal trauma in order to speed up intimacy. Correct. Nor is it throning …
Dating on the loo? Dating someone for their social status.
Ew. Go on then, what is this new submarining about? You know when you’re dating someone and they suddenly disappear, without telling you why?
Er, hello? Old news! I know that one, everyone does – that’s ghosting! Wait, there’s more. With submarining, they come back again after a period of time and act as if nothing happened. According to Vice, it may actually be worse than ghosting.
I see: they resurface. And why do they do that? Not for air, I’m guessing. Often out of insecurity and boredom, Gigi Engle, a sex coach and author, told Men’s Health when the term emerged.
Still, it’s nice that they returned. It’s all back on! Hmm, maybe not. “It’s pretty unlikely that it’s because this person actually cares about you,” said Engle. “It’s more likely that they want someone to talk to and make them feel good about themselves.”
Sounds like submariners should be avoided. Indeed. They “often crave intimacy but are terrified of the vulnerability it requires”, Wendy Walsh, a psychology professor, told PureWow. “A submariner wants to put somebody on the back burner so they can reach out to them later when they feel lonely.”
Nobody puts baby on the back burner! And thanks for the warning – that’s now a big red flag. Or, you might say, a nuclear deterrent.
You might. So what is the best way to deal with submariners? Back to Engle, who says: “If someone is actually into you, they don’t disappear out of nowhere.”
Got it. Ghost the submariners? Correct. Apart from Sean Connery in The Hunt for Red October.
Do say: “Yeah, long time no speak … Tonight? No, sorry, I’m busy … for ever.”
Don’t say: “Periscope up.”
