Crumbs! Why are mince pies so expensive this Christmas?

Name: Mince pies.

Appearance: Sugar-dusted flying saucers of pastry.

Age: In Middle Eastern cooking during the high middle ages, it was popular to combine fruits and spices with meat. European crusaders brought the ingredients back on their return from the Holy Land. Fast forward to Tudor times and shredded meat, dried fruit and suet were used to make “shrid pies”.

All right, Lucy Worsley. How about we fast forward to, say, now? What goes into today’s mince pies? Dried fruit, nuts and spices, and traditionally – but often not these days – suet.

No actual mince? See the above history lesson. And the “mince” of mincemeat derives from the Middle English mincen and old French mincier …

Thank you, Susie Dent! I’ll have one, please. It’ll cost you.

How much? A lot more than last year in most supermarkets – most spectacularly in Tesco, where some of its premium mince pies are £3.50 for four, up from £2.50 last year.

Up 40%! Good work, Rachel Riley.

Why the rise? Well, they shouldn’t really, and you can prick them with a fork to prevent it.

No, Mary Berry – the price rise! Oh, I see. It’s about soaring sultana costs after two years of bad harvests in Turkey.

And that’s where sultanas come from? Also Father Christmas, but that’s another story. Yes, Turkey is the largest exporter. Jara Zicha, a senior market analyst for nuts, dried fruit and spices …

The careers adviser never told me about that one. … told the Telegraph: “Key sultana-growing areas of western Turkey received very heavy rainfall, causing disease on vines and production losses.”

Hence mince pies being more expensive. And that’s not all. The price of Christmas dinner is up by about 6.5%, also linked to extreme weather. Floods in September led to a poor carrot harvest, for example.

It’s almost as if we’ve made someone angry and are being punished. OK, Noah, if that’s what you believe. Or, if you believe in science, it could be about us burning a lot of fossil fuels and making mincemeat of our planet.

Why do we even have mince pies at Christmas? A range of reasons, including that the ingredients represent the gifts of the three wise men.

Gold, frankincense and suet! Also that they were a status symbol that only the rich could afford.

Smell my pies, Bob Cratchit. Well, maybe we’re back in Christmas past …

Do say: “You can still get six mince pies for £1.25 at Aldi.”

Don’t say: “No one actually likes mince pies!” (See also Christmas pudding, brussels sprouts and turkey.)