New Zealand v England: second men’s cricket Test, day three – live

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WICKET! Conway b Woakes 0 (New Zealand 9-1)

An uncharacteristically fierce looking Woakes punches the air after wobble seaming through the gate of the unfortunate Conway.

2nd over: New Zealand 9-0 (Latham 6, Conway 0 ) In comes Atkinson, hair shaved, shirt tucked in, sloped shoulders, on hat-trick plus one. No joy this time, in fact the over contains a couple of no-balls as he struggles with his run-up in the brisk wind. A leading edge from Conway, fall s just short of .Carse. Four for Latham, off the hip.

Apologies if you don’t like crumble and associated sauces – it seems most OBOers do. Over to you Clare Dowding.

New Zealand's second innings - need 583 to win.

1st over: New Zealand 0-0 (Latham 0, Conway 0 ) Woakes opens with beauty that leaves Latham grasping at air and Pope grinning as he collects behind the stumps. A billowing gust of wind then stops Woakes mid approach and temporarily has the cameras moving all over the place. It’s not easy out there.

Hello Nick Watts. “I’m sure I’m not alone in finding Tom’s story deeply moving. To see a man in his 40s crumbling before our very eyes is tragic.”

And while New Zealand whistle for the heavy roller, let’s just talk briefly about Joe Root. His 36th hundred puts him behind only Tendulkar, Kallis, Ponting and Sangakkara – whom he will match if he can whistle out just two more big ones. (Of course he can). Of that top five, I’d argue that.. although I’m not convinced even as I type this – that Root is the most watchable (ignoring early Tendulkar). I stand to be corrected here though.

The highest successful run chase in Test Match history you ask? 418-7, West Indies v Australia at Antigua in 2003. New Zealand today need 583.

WICKET! Root c Blundell b O'Rourke 106 ENGLAND DECLARE 427-6 DECLARED

82.3 overs: England 427-6dec (Stokes 49) And bold as brass Roots gets to his hundred with a reverse scoop! He looks delighted. The next ball is driven like a ferrari for four, fired down ground, huge boyish grin on his face as he does it – it’s off a no ball too. He plumps for juicy drive to pick up four more but gets a thick edge which is superbly caught by a flying Blundell. And with that Stokes and Root trot off to leave New Zealand chasing 583 to win in just under three days.

82nd over: England 418-5 (Root 98, Stokes 49) Chasing milestones…

”Feel for Tom v d G.” taps Stephen Holliday in Las Vegas. “I’m a similar age and was scared of poached eggs for a very long time. And then I made one. Easiest thing in the world. At least a crumble has more than one ingredient making it slightly more complicated than cracking an egg into some water.”

New ball

81st over: England 412-5 (Root 96, Stokes 45) New Zealand stick with the old ball for now. The youthful O’Rourke rolls into his long run up, Root flicks fine, like a French cricketer. Ah, here comes the NEW BALL, four balls into the over.

I love rhubarb, but not so much in a crumble. There’s a joke there somewhere about Geoffrey Boycott’s mother but I’m too sated by that brandy cream.

80th over: England 406-5 (Root 91, Stokes 44) Henry bowls the last necessary over with the old ball. Root takes advantage with two boundaries, the second a cover drive off a slower ball which skims past the leaping cover fielder. Twelve from the over, Root approaches Test Hundred 36.

79th over: England 394-5 (Root 81, Stokes 41) O’Rourke hits Root but all is well.

78th over: England 390-5 (Root 80, Stokes 40) A drop! Henry has a shaving of a fraction of a second as Stokes powers the ball back towards him. His eyes widen in panic, his hands form a kind of crystal ball reading position – he fumbles the ball but saves his body. Next delivery, Root pulls effortlessly to the rope.

Hello Tom v d Gucht. “Despite knocking on the door of my mid-forties, I had always avoided making a crumble as I was convinced there was some sort of mysterious alchemy to the topping and subsequently felt mere mortals such as myself should leave it well alone.

“However, after scrumping a crop of blackberries and apples from a nearby nature reserve in the autumn, I took the plunge and looked up the recipe. I’m now haunted by a lingering sense of disappointed at how I’ve wasted so much time not making something so simple yet so delicious.”

77th over: England 384-5 (Root 75, Stokes 39). Stokes isn’t here to hang about. He flat bats O’Rourke’s first ball into the off side and he and Root scuttle through for two. The Barmies sing a full-throated Jerusalem and the wind billows the New Zealanders’ creamy chunky knit jumpers. Root finishes the over with a dainty nudge down to third.

Some local colour for you, thanks to Ali: the locals call the divots “scallops.” And the players are out, off we go!

The pitch experts gaze at the sweet New Zealand dirt: “There are some divots in the pitch, which means the pitch is drying out.”

An email! “Hello Tanya.” Tim Sanders, good evening.

“Please do tell us more about the crumble, and especially the casually-mentioned yet radical choice of brandy cream. Sultanas with the apple ? Oats in the crumble ? Brandy cream just for the time of year, or because it’s even better than custard / ice cream / cream.”

No sultanas. No oats – nuts. Delia said pecans but I didn’t have any so it was just the left over mixed nuts in the jar. Brandy cream because I asked my husband to get cream or custard and he got brandy cream (but not just any old brandy cream…)

In other news, David Gower is in a blue blazer and reporting windy Wellington weather.

I’m feeling quite sleepy after a large meal topped off by apple crumble with brandy cream, so apologies if my updates start to wilt into the small hours. We don’t yet know if England have declared over night or if Stokes fancies an even larger lead.

Greedy for hat-tricks is Gus Atkinson.

“Everyone in New Zealand is buzzing about Chris Wood’s latest goal for Forest, beating Man Utd 3-2 at Old Trafford.

“(this may just be me)“

And there’s more.

Ali has been busy this morning with his laundry but always has time for the Guardian’s OBO readers:

“It’s much windier today, could be a few gusts that make catching in the deep tricky. May also help Shoaib Bashir get some drift when it’s England’s time to bowl.”

This was Ali Martin’s take on yesterday’s play:

Preamble

Hello! As Storm Darragh huffs and puffs outside the window, over in Wellington, England are serenely sailing towards their first Test series win in New Zealand since 2008.

A second day on fast forward left the Kiwis bowled out for just 125 – a hat-trick for Gus Atkinson’s embossed leather wallet. Then England’s blades and guns did their bit – 90s for Duckett and the astonishing Bethell – while Joe Root has a chance to shuffle up the pantheon this evening if he can collect his 36th Test hundred (27 more needed).

You wish New Zealand a long second innings at this beautiful ground, but with the lead 533 already, you fear for their busted confidence. That 3-0 thrashing of India accelerates fast into the distance.

Play starts at 10pm, there’s room on the sofa for more.