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Peep Show is not really a TV show. It’s closer to an identity now, embedded in the collective British DNA. A decade after the show finished, many of us still call each other “Clean Shirt”, notice logos in foam or quip about crack being “very moreish”. The only show more emblematic of the UK’s national psyche is The Great British Bake Off. Therefore rejoice, for the hottest collab of the holiday is here! I’m calling this the real reason for the season. The true raisin for the praisin’, perhaps.
They’re so much part of our lives, it’s hard to see these bakers as actors. It feels more natural to say that this Christmas the Bake Off tent will host a reunion of Mark, Sophie, Big Suze, Super Hans and Dobby. Together again, like family, your family. It’s glorious to see them – older, some bearded, not one of them less charming. No proceeds from this are going to charity because there aren’t any. This is happening purely for joy.
David Mitchell has been on Bake Off before. This may not give him an edge. As he points out, “I’ve made four cakes in my life, two of which have been televised.” You’d expect Big Suze, AKA Sophie Winkleman, half-sister of Claudia, and a member of the royal family, to have a certain level of competence. It could just be that her gentility gives her a Meghan Markle-esque poise. Matt King is the real surprise, having studied cookery and worked as a chef. He’s fascinatingly different to “terrible drug addict” Super Hans. So much so that watching him becomes, ironically, quite addictive.
Then there’s Olivia Colman, who played mild-mannered office worker Sophie. In real life, Colman has won a best actress Oscar, and elevated the most acclaimed TV of recent years, from Fleabag and The Night Manager to The Bear. It’s to her credit that you can still imagine her chit-chatting in the line at the supermarket, or eating a Jammie Dodger. She is in the pantheon of greats. This is like Daniel Day-Lewis going on Would I Lie to You? (he’d be phenomenal at that). Goes without saying, it would be hilarious if Colman won this too.
Sadly, Robert Webb is absent. Presumably owing to a schedule clash, though it’s fun to imagine his character Jeremy’s opposition to appearing. “It’s Keep Calm and Carry On Opiating the masses, Mark!” etc.
Judges Paul Hollywood and Prue Leith’s tasks are pure fan service. Challenging the contestants to make a turkey pie, the latter announces: “This is an homage to the classic scene where Jeremy forgets the turkey.” She sounds like a prime minister declaring their lifelong love for the Arsenal. In my heart, I do not believe Leith has watched a single second of Peep Show. Imagine if she’d asked them to cook dog.
Someone else who has never seen an episode is King – and his signature bake is equally unexpected. “Forgotten Birds of Christmas” sees the comedian and actor baking thrush, blue tit and chaffinch biscuits, “because robins get all the attention”. He was a former member of the YOC, he explains. (He’s referring to a club for young ornithologists, rather than youth offenders I think.) Winkleman, meanwhile, possesses not just the poise of Markle but also the baking skills. The more her bakes deteriorate, the more honeyed her diction becomes. “Poor things,” she commiserates of her unsealed pies. She sounds like an M&S advert for a dropped dessert.
Presenters Noel Fielding and Alison Hammond essentially get a day off, while their witty guests, particularly Mitchell, gift us zingers like currants in figgy pudding. The showstoppers are Easter eggs, too. The cast bake cakes to illustrate Peep Show deep cuts, including Dobby’s personal cheese, Super Hans running to Windsor and Mark burying an intoxicated Sophie in a ball pit. Like the show, it’s hard to explain, yet perfect.
Don’t worry if you’re not a Peep Show diehard. There’s also a boys’ choir carolling celestially, and a thrilling moment when Leith accuses Hollywood of handing out handshakes on an arbitrary basis. Cooking, with stress baked in! Choirs of angels! Arguments between family members! Now that’s what I call Christmas!
