Football Daily | Canada see off South Africa but fail to quench our endless World Cup thirst

3 hours ago 5

OPEN WIDE FOR SOME (MORE) SOCCER

Following the bumper end to the record-breaking group stage in which a whopping 16 Geopolitics World Cup matches were completed over 54 hours, Football Daily has now gone – at the time of writing – nearly 36 hours with just one single GWC match for company and is now experiencing acute withdrawal symptoms; a miserable glimpse into our post-GWC future in which “colleagues”, “families” and “the growing pile of crockery in the sink” will eventually have to be acknowledged and addressed with all the gusto of Steve Bruce at a press conference.

There was just that one meagre match, then, to keep the GWC torch burning bright on Sunday, and what a match it wasn’t, as South Africa and Canada played out an absolute stinker, with the first knockout tie containing more missed passes than an episode of Love Island, and fewer shots than James Milner on a stag do. Mercifully, after nearly 100 minutes of goalless anti-football, we were spared an additional half-hour of tedium as Canada’s Stephen Eustáquio struck in stoppage time to send the co-hosts through to the last 16 at the expense of Bafana Bafana.

That his side were about as watchable as a Liz Truss YouTube show will not matter one jot to Canada’s USA USA USA head coach Jesse Marsch, who at least kept us entertained just off the pitch by belting out the anthem and literally kissing the badge of his adopted nation. While there will some snobbery aimed at Marsch’s performative post-match speech to his players on the pitch – “You guys are Canadian heroes today, Canadian heroes for the future children of this country who play this sport”, he Ted-Lassoed – it’s important to remember that despite the absolute snoozefest in Los Angeles, the result for Canada is unprecedented. The 1-0 victory over South Africa was Canada’s first game, first win and saw their first goal in the knockout stages of a men’s World Cup. Marsch’s men now have passage through to the last 16, where they will face one of Netherlands or Morocco. Chapeau, as they presumably say in Quebec.

The Dutch facing the African champions* is just one of three tantalising games on offer on Monday (or the wee hours of Tuesday, for UK viewers) as the GWC mercifully kicks back into gear with Brazil v Japan and Germany v Paraguay. Thank goodness for football. There might be numerous things wrong with the GWC – ticket prices, visa issues, the lack of a little remote control car to bring the match ball out for kick-off – but South Africa v Canada aside, the last 32 looks like it’s going to be absolutely sensational. Close the curtains, bring out the Tin trolley, tonight (BST) we ride again. And it’s going to be a heck of a ride.

LIVE ON BIG WEBSITE

Fasten your seatbelts for a huge night of knockout GWC football. Join Tim de Lisle for Brazil 3-2 Japan (aet) from 6pm BST/1pm EDT. Rob Smyth will guide you through Germany 2-0 Paraguay (9.30pm BST/4.30pm EDT), and then it’s over to Ella Brockway for Netherlands 3-2 Morocco (aet) at 2am BST (9pm EDT).

QUOTE OF THE DAY

“Carlo Ancelotti is like a father figure to us. He is a man I admire immensely, as a coach and a person. He talks to us and offers guidance on matters on and off the pitch. I heard a series or documentary about him is being filmed, and I am certain it will be incredible” – in his latest column, the Brazil and Real Madrid forward Rodrygo (sadly missing the GWC with knack) sings the praises of Don Carlo.

Carlo Ancelotti offers Rodrygo some friendly advice

Steve Clarke away

I have this dread
That we will not
Get to

Anything for ten
Years; you have
Done it

We made it, when
I had lost
The belief

He was a man
(ager) take him for
All

In all, we shall
Not see his likes again” – The Punter Poet.

At least Steve Clarke walked willingly through the door marked Do One, unlike Marcelo Bielsa, who hasn’t resigned and is waiting for the Uruguayan federation to oust him via the catapult marked Haz Uno” – JJ Zucal.

So, England face the Democratic Republic of Congo in Atlanta on Wednesday. Are the locals going to be confused by not knowing if the Congolese team are Democrats or Republicans?” – George Paterson.

While I appreciate Football Daily’s desire to crowbar puns into everything, I’d like to point out that Christian Fuchs ushered himself through the door marked Do One [in the Steve Clarke style? – FD Ed]. The fans and board were happy with him, so I can’t imagine why he opted to leave the beautiful surroundings of Newport” – Dave Lloyd.

In defence of football, I rebuked a chatbot for stating ‘soccer’ was used widely in the UK from 1883. It then admitted it was the public schools and upper class who used the term. A minority with big mouths. A bit like Infantino or Trump!” – Alex Cameron.

If you have any, please send letters to [email protected]. Today’s prizeless letter o’ the day is … Punter the Poet. Terms and conditions for our competitions, when we run them, are here.